Hi. I'm Andy. Care to follow my travels?

Austin!

Andy: Hey, is vals address 1813?
Austin: Hold on, let me check.
Austin: (to Lisa) mom.
Austin: (to Lisa) MOM!
Austin: (to Lisa) modre!
Lisa: (to austin) What?
Austin: (to Lisa) See, I have to speak to you in Mexican to get you to pay attention!

“You owe me, I want it now. I owe you, we’ll work...”
— John Zampatti

GLORIOUS!

Sharing an Office

Andy: Hey Mark, I have a question.
Mark: Fuck the government.

Databank Quiz Question

Q.  What is ‘brain dust’ more commonly known as? A.  ”headcrumbs.” 

Databank Quiz Question

Q: On a computer keyboard, what does “ESC” stand for? A: Escargot. (via  Look Around...

Oh, how I love thee.

“This piece is a fullsize reproduction of the entire 2007...”
— Jason Salavon - Field Guide to...

“Send hunger running with the ultimate sandwich. Heaping...”
— SUBWAY FRESHBUZZ™

I want online clothes shopping to go...

GAP: "look like george clooney"
Andy: "okay"
GAP: "what size are you?"
Andy: "small."
GAP: "how much you wanna spend?"
Andy: "less than 150"
GAP: "here's a cart full of clothes that match and that will make you look sexytimes."
Andy: "thanks."
(end scene)

Listen

APPLE! BAH!

Brian: Hi, my name is Brian. Welcome to Apple!
Brian: Good afternoon
Andy: Hi Brian, what's crackin?
Andy: uhhhhhh......hello?
Brian: Welcome back to the Apple store chat!
Brian: How may I help you today?
Andy: I have an apple store credit valued at near 10$
Andy: i'd like to use it towards the purchase of an itunes gift card
Brian: Ok
Brian: Basically you have a gift card and you want to use it to purchase another gift card, right?
Andy: I have a store credit and i want to buy a cd.
Brian: Is the credit from a return or is it from the iPhone credit?
Andy: iphone
Brian: Okay, with that credit you can use it towards anything in our store except iTunes gift cards. So unfortunately, you won't be able to Andy: use it for that purpose.
Andy: can i use it in the itunes store?
Brian: You can't. Just for the Apple.com store.
Andy: Mmph.
Brian: You can use it towards things like cases, cables, etc.
Andy: "the iPhone credit can be used for iTunes Gifts Cards NOT iTunes electronic gift certificates. I just purchased a $25 gift card from the online Apple store using my credit."
Andy: That is from a blog i read frequently.
Brian: That was a mistake and they should feel lucky. It can't be used for iTunes.
Andy: If he can do it, can't i?
Brian: He should not have been able to do it or he is just making it up. I don't know. You can not use the iPhone credit for iTunes.
Andy: Ive actually read a few places where people have done it.
Andy: Lots of people lying?
Brian: I switched to the iPhone credit team for a couple of weeks to help them out so I'm familiar with that process.
Brian: Well if they did make the purchase then they were lucky. It is not suppose to happen and you can't use it for iTunes.
Brian: May I help with any other product or order questions before you proceed?
Before I proceed to what?
Brian: With your online shopping.
Andy: I can't buy what I want to buy.
Andy: But other people can.
Andy: i'm pretty disappointed in this.
Brian: I understand your frustration that you can't use this for iTunes but you are more than welcome to use your credit towards any other item in our online store.
Andy: Sigh. I really don't need anything...
Andy: Are you positive there is nothing you can do?
Brian: Well Christmas is coming up. Might as well use it towards a gift.
Brian: There isn't.
Brian: It's basically policy which can't be changed.
Andy: But has been changed?
Brian: It was that way since day one of the iPhone credit.
Brian: Just some people could have made the purchase online some how. Not too sure but that is fixed because I had a customer try once just to see and it didn't work.
Andy: Mmm
Andy: Okay, I suppose.
Brian: Well you have a wonderful day. It's been a pleasure.
Andy: Well, thanks for your time. I didn't intend on being a jerk....

Eek.

Andy: Whenever we talk about football we just holler things that men talk about.
Andy: FOOTBALL! MEAT! SPORTS! BEER! WOMEN!
Erin: thats true...lol
Erin: crotch itching!
Andy: sick.
Erin: its true tho
Andy: but i dont yell it.
Andy: sick

Apple Store Chat

Robin: Hi, my name is Robin A. Welcome to Apple!
Andy: hi!
Robin: Hello. How are you?
Andy: I am well. Cold, but well. How are you?
Robin: Great thanks!
Robin: Would you like help with your shopping?
Andy: Sure!
Andy: I have an iPhone.
Robin: Ok, good! How do you like it?
Andy: It's wonderful.
Andy: and I have a macbook pro.
Andy: so, i figured, for working out that the only logical step is to get the Nike+ kit.
Andy: and was hooooppingggg that the iphone was compatible with it?
Robin: I will check on that for you.
Robin: The Nike Kit works with the iPod Nano.
Andy: Only?
Robin: I see what I can find for the iPhone.
Andy: Great!
Robin: Thanks for waiting. I'll be right with you.
Robin: I'll send you a link to the accessories that work with iPhone.
Robin: Click here for iPhone accessories
Andy: These are headsets.
Andy: None of which deal with running.
Andy: Can you just tell me if the sport kit works with the iphone?
Robin: The Nike Kit is for the Nano.
Andy: So, I HAVE to buy a nano to get the nike kit?
Robin: Yes, that is correct. So far, I'm not finding any sport kit for the iPhone.
Robin: There are cases and sleeves for the iPhone. Would you like that link?
Andy: No, unless they keep track of my running.

AL made me this screwdriver to install my new ram

Hello, 3GB of ram

“I hope that I will always take risks, try new things and...”
— mark gypson

Working hard!

“Chipotle Mexican Grill, a chain of restaurants that...”
— Chipotle Mexican Grill to open

Andy: there is a track on american gangster
Andy: "hello brooklyn"
Andy: it just has lil wayne shouting all the time
Heather: hahaha sounds amazing
Andy: like....hollering.
Heather: mannn
Heather: ridiculous
Andy: hollering.
Heather: haha.
Andy: want to know truths?
Heather: of course
Andy: i totally thought i was talking to my brother
Heather: hahahaha

Hello, Mail.

“Do you mean your first Dr. Pepper from a can, or like, when...”
— Daddy Dollars

EVERY MAN JACK